Sleeping. Working. For one moment with her, he would give everything, and anything. He would give up all of his tomorrows for just one kiss. There was guilt. He felt guilty because he couldn’t give her everything she deserved. He wasn’t free to walk up to her and wrap his arms around her, stare into those eyes, and whisper, ‘I love you, baby.’ Left was his past. Right was his future. That’s how it felt as he looked at the green highway sign a hundred yards or so ahead. He thought of the trunk and his suitcase. And how it felt the last time he had done something similar. He had loved Lisa, more than any woman until she entered his life. There were similarities between the two, the hair color, stature. They both made me feel whole, like a man. The way Lisa cocked her head and grinned at him. The feeling of those fjord blue eyes sparkling into his. Things had gone badly and Lisa ended the relationship. An ache like he had never felt permeated his very existence. Looking into mirror as. After one of several incidents at school Dad once asked me why I didn't just go along to get along. I told him that they hadn't earned the right to give me orders and I was smarter than them anyway. He didn't get mad or punish me but he made a comment that I didn't understand until years later. Dad said, "Son, you've got a lot to learn and as you get older you'll find out you're not as smart as you think."As I started high school I had a growth spurt and sprouted up like a young oak. My brother Ethan was playing football for our school during his senior year and he suggested that I try out for the team. He said it would teach me discipline and allow me to work out some of my repressed anger and not so repressed aggression. It was a strange concept coming from an 18 year old; I found out later that one of the guidance counselors suggested the idea to Ethan.The plan might have worked but the coach apparently had no use for a big clumsy kid that had never played organized football.
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